As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
