We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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