I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
