So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
