help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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