I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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