i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
