Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
