Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
