i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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