i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
