my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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