we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
