Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
