Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You work out of a Hotel?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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