Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You smell like stripper and shame
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
