My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
