her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
