ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
