It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's like iHOP with fire
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
