sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
