he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He better not be in your backpack
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
