im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
