420 ftw
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize