im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
