I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize