Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
