Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
