I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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