8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
