His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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