He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize