Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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