I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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