i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
