i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
