You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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