billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i dont even know how to be here
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
