You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
