Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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