OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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