After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
