No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
