why do cheetos always look like penises
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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