I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
