You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
