alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
