sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I understand Curling. That high.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
