Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
