Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
