sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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