The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
