Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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