Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize