I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
