Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
