in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
