Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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