i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
