That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you traded sex for a burrito?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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