i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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