How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
