I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
