Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
