pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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