He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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